By Alicia Moore
I was having brunch with an old friend last weekend, and we got to talking about friendship. I had recently lost a dear friend, and I was feeling inadequate. As we discussed the sad ending of this recent relationship I realized that I was no longer capable of forming bonds like the ones I had formed when I was younger. I mean, perhaps I was still capable, as in my abilities hadn’t changed, but I was no longer able to meet people who were willing to open up. You see, when you’re seventeen, you’re not as afraid of getting hurt. You exist in the moment. You love openly, no matter how vulnerable it might make you. As most of us get older, we become more reserved, more afraid, less likely to love so freely. We’ve been hurt multiple times, we’ve been rejected, laughed at, ignored. Some may call a person like this “jaded”, but I just call them human. We learn and grow from our experiences, but sometimes we bury ourselves deep within our bodies for protection. And because of this, it is much harder to create deep, intimate connections.
I am not one of these people.
I’m not afraid of getting hurt, in fact, I expect it (not in a bad way). I expect that I will argue with individuals that I love, I expect differences in opinion, I expect jealousy, I expect pain. I don’t believe that anything lasts forever, nothing is permanent. But wouldn’t it be nice if, while we’re here on this spinning rock, we could just love one another so beautifully that it sets us free? Relationships end, that’s just the reality of life. Sure, it’s possible for something to last a lifetime, but does it transcend time and space? Probably not. At least not in the physical way we all wish it would. THE ONLY THING WE TRULY HAVE ON THIS PLANET, IN THIS REALITY, IS HUMAN CONNECTION AND LOVE.
Think about it for a bit.
What have you got to lose besides layers of brick from the walls you may have built over the years? Tear it down. Send someone a playlist or a card. Reach out. Find a sliver of time in there somewhere, and let someone know you’re thinking of them. Smile. Hug. Listen. Learn. Grow. Understand. Be vulnerable. Be real. Be unapologetically you.
Love, my friends, is why we’re here. Everything else is just background noise.
Tell me about a time when a friendship or relationship ended. How did you cope with that loss, and transition?